Next Stop, Cougar Town!

Well I must say this, the young men are loving me. I have, in the past, been approached by a "young buck" every now and then, but now it seems more the norm than an abnormality.

Where did my twenties go? Where are the days when it was the older men that approached me at age 25. Now I find myself at a point in my life where I'm too old for dating a man in my age range (they want the younger girl) but I am perfect for a young man that needs to get more experience and maturity. 

At first I used to be flattered thinking that maybe it's because I look young but as I become wiser and since I have spoken with a few men I have realized that these young bucks know I am older! Go figure! So, in essence I'm the old chick! I am the older woman who is perfect for teaching the children the ropes. 

Should I be insulted or take it all in stride? And it's not like these fellows are 3-4 years my junior, I'm talking 7-10 years my junior! Holly crap, I thought when I started to do the math. That's like a freshman in college, dating a senior in elementary school! Definitely not sexy. I cringe. And yes I know that the older you get the less significant a few years are but I'm not that old-yet. 

Sooo we're dating?

Knowing the status of your relationship will make your sexperience with that person more enjoyable. Everyone has limitations to what they will do sexually depending on their moral character as it pertains to the status of their sexual relationship.

If there is ambiguity in the purpose of the sexual relationship it may lead to tension.  The  biggest sexual stimulator is ones mind and in order to have a wonderful sex life you need to relieve/remove this mental tension/stress to make way for great sex.  One way to do this is to know where one "stands" in the relationship, or the purpose of the sexual relationship. Once you know this it makes it easier to establish what one will or will not do with their sexual partner(s).



I have found that the most confusing relationship label, to know where one "stands", is Dating.  "Dating" seems to have so many layers, and rules and stipulations that it can become very frustrating mentally and emotionally and it can be destabilizing for some, especially those who don't quite know the definitions and rules.  So in an attempt to help you free your mind and become more uninhibited in you sexlife, I am going to try to clarify this relationship label.

First, one must understand, what is a 'DATE'?

Well  in  general a "DATE" is any outing or scheduled time to spend and share, typically between two people. And, for the purposes of this blog, a DATE occurs between two people who are interested or sexually attracted to each other.  People who are attracted to each other typically go on a DATE to see if the respective person is worth pursuing for a more engaging and sexual relationship. But, Going on a DATE or a couple of dates with each other does not necessarily mean that these two people are "DATING".

And "DATING" in it's most basic form is two people that are mutually attracted to each other, who repeatedly schedule time to spend and share exclusively with each other.  For DATING purposes, time spent together is done in order to get to know each other more personally. The intent of getting to know each other more personally is to determine whether a more serious or committed relationship involving monogamous sex, would be the best and next logical step between the two.
   
Time spent (spending quality time) together is a balanced combination of conversations face to face and on the phone, going out in public, having sex (where appropriate) and spending time together alone.

Quality time (for the purposes of this blog) is time spent with a purpose where, the purpose is getting to know one another on a emotional, spiritual and sexual level in order to determine the next logical step of the relationship.


Be aware that there is no emotional commitment or obligation required when DATING and the person with the least emotional commitment usually rules the relationship.

Though sex being included in a dating relationship is the norm for the 21st century, it is not a requirement.  A couple can be labeled as DATING once they have been on repeated and routine dates with each other within a timely manor. (I'd say weekly dates frequent verbal communication and sex for a minimum of 4-6 weeks would be considered DATING if nothing is discussed, it may be earlier if there is a discussion to establish that the two are indeed "DATING")

Now that you know what "DATING" means, make sure you play your position when dating so that you don't look crazy.  And adhering to the following dating rules, will ensure ones sanity.



When "DATING":
1.There should be no expectation of routine time spent (routine meaning multiple times weekly or where you feel comfortable enough not to notice if there is a lack of togetherness). If there is considerable time spent naturally, then wonderful, but that is not required and if you expect it, keep it to yourself.  You cannot get mad if the time spent with you becomes less frequent after a time.
2.When you are dating it is OK to date other people, if you choose not to date other people, then that is on you. But you CANNOT get mad if the person you are dating is dating other people.  That should only be a concern to you if you are looking to move into a more committed or serious relationship. Or to "EXCLUSIVELY DATE" the person.

Now you can, however, be "exclusively dating" someone.  This means that when you feel to spend quality time which will include having sex in this situation, it will be with the person they are "exclusively" dating.  However in order to stay sane in this situation, I would recommend that the "exclusively dating" is mutual.  Then and only then can you ignore rule #2 above.  Still when you are "exclusively dating" there is no required emotional commitment or obligation between the two.

If the information I have provided here does not help and ease your mind, then you need to gain clarification from the person that you are dating.  The best way to go about this is to pose the question:

"Where is this relationship going?" 

This is an open ended question which allows for discussion on the progress, intent and potentially new focus of the present relationship. You can, then pose follow up questions, depending on the direction of the conversation like, "Are we dating?" and "What does that mean?".  Asking the first question FIRST is better than a direct yes/no question which in most cases can make the person being asked the question uncomfortable and defensive because they feel like they are being "put on the spot". 

Once you understand the relationship you are in, then you know what you should do next for your mental and emotional clarity. And if after a time your feelings start to grow and you feel that you want the relationship to eventually progress to a more committed and "exclusive" level, then another conversation needs to be initiated that will discuss the possibility of a stronger, more committed relationship.  Simply ask the FIRST question again.  This will help you know where you stand and know what your next step should be. It is fool proof at any level of your relationship.

Understand these definitions and rules and you should be in a great position to enjoy your sexual life. And again, if there is any confusion on the intent of the relationship please make sure to ask the person you're dating. This information is just a guide to keep you in perspective so that you can focus on good sexual health.

Enjoy!

YummyGirl '11 

Sex compliments of a meal.

Those of you who know me know that I am a foodie at heart and obviously,  I love good sex. I thought, why not incorporate some aphrodisiac foods into a dinner and feed it to my valentine! This way I will make a meal that will be delicious and guarantee me sex from my unknown valentine. After dinner I bet the dessert will be well worth it.

If you got any crazy recipes pass them on. I would love to share and try myself.

Here is a list of foods that can be incorporated into almost any meal. Try them out,  you know the saying the way to a mans heart........ we're just giving this man a little help [wink-wink].

The Aphrodisiac list

• Almond

  A symbol of fertility throughout the ages. The aroma is thought to induce passion in a female. Try serving Marzipan (almond paste) in the shapes of fruits for a special after-dinner treat. 

• Aniseed

  A very popular aphrodisiac with many culinary uses. It has been used as an aphrodisiac since the Greeks and the Romans, who believed aniseed had special powers. Sucking on the seeds is said to increases your desire.

• Arugula

  Arugula or "rocket" seed has been documented as an aphrodisiac since the first century A.D.  This ingredient was added to grated orchid bulbs and parsnips and also combined with pine nuts and pistachios. Arugula greens are frequently used in salads and pasta.

• Asafetida

  Any Indian dried, powedere herb used as a sexual stimulant in Ayurvedic medicine.  The herb has a very strong, garlicy flavor.

• Asparagus

  Given it's phallic shape, asparagus is frequently enjoyed as an aphrodisiac food.   Feed your lover boiled or steamed spears for a sensuous experience. The Vegetarian Society suggests "eating asparagus for three days for the most powerful affect".

• Avocado

  The Aztecs called the avocado tree "Ahuacuatl which translated means "testicle tree". The ancients thought the fruit hanging in pairs on the tree resembled the male's testicles. This is a delicious fruit with a sensuous texture. Serve in slices with a small amount of Balsamic vinegar and freshly ground pepper.

• Bananas

  The banana flower has a marvelous phallic shape and is partially responsible for popularity of the banana as an aphrodisiac food. An Islamic myth tells the tale that after Adam and Eve succumbed to the "Apple" they started covering their "nudity" with banana leaves rather than fig. From a more practical standpoint bananas are rich in potassium and B vitamins, necessities for sex hormone production.

• Basil (sweet basil)

  Is said to stimulate the sex drive and boost fertility. It is also said to produce a general sense of well being for body and mind. 

• Broccoli Rabe (And Other Mustard Greens)

  The ground seeds of various plants in the brassica family were believed to increase virility. In the case of broccoli rabe its more likely a myth created to get people to eat this bitter vegetable.

• Chocolate

  The Aztecs referred to chocolate "nourishment of the Gods". Chocolate contains chemicals thought to effect neurotransmitters in the brain and a related substance to caffeine called theobromine. Chocolate contains more antioxidant (cancer preventing enzymes) than does red wine.  The secret for passion is to combine the two.  Try a glass of Cabernet with a bit of dark chocolate for a sensuous treat or let us temp you with our recipe for Chocolate Espresso Pots de creme.

• Carrots

  Another good reason to eat carrots--believed to be a stimulant to the male. The phallus shaped carrot has been associated with stimulation since ancient times and was used by early Middle Eastern royalty to aid seduction. High vitamins and beta-carotene. Perhaps a justification for a piece of carrot cake?

• Coffee

  Caffeine is a well-know stimulant but remember, too much and it becomes a depressant.   Serve small amounts of rich dark coffee in special little demitasse cups.   Coffee stimulates both the body and the mind so partake of a little in preparation for an "all-nighter".

• Coriander (Cilantro seed)

  The book of The Arabian nights tells a tale of a merchant who had been childless for 40 years and but was cured by a concoction that included coriander. That book is over 1000 years old so the history of coriander as an aphrodisiac dates back far into history. Cilantro was also know to be used as an "appetite" stimulant.

• Fennel

  In the 1930's fennel was found to be a source of natural plant estrogens. Use of fennel as an aphrodisiac dates back to the Egyptian times where it was used as "libido enhancement".

• Figs

  An open fig is thought to emulate the female sex organs and traditionally thought of as sexual stimulant. A man breaking open a fig and eating it in front of his lover is a powerful erotic act. Serve fresh Black Mission figs in a cool bowl of water as it is done in Italy and be sure to eat with your fingers!

• Garlic

  The 'heat' in garlic is said to stir sexual desires. Make sure you and your partner share it together. Garlic has been used for centuries to cure everything from the common cold to heart ailments. This is a good time for moderation. Enjoy a pasta with a lightly garlicky sauce and it and lead up to something spicy in the bedroom later.

• Ginger

  Ginger root raw, cooked or crystallized is a stimulant to the circulatory system. Perhaps a stir-fry with freshly grated ginger can stir something spicy up in the bedroom later.

• Honey

  Many medicines in Egyptian times were based on honey including cures for sterility and impotence. Medieval seducers plied their partners with Mead, a fermented drink made from honey. Lovers on their "Honeymoon" drank mead and it was thought to "sweeten" the marriage.

• Liquorice (licorice)

  The Chinese have used licorice for medicinal purposes since ancient times. The essence of the Glycyrrhiza glabra (licorice) plan, glycrrhizin, is 50 time sweeter than sugar. Chewing on bits of licorice root is said to enhance love and lust. It is particularly stimulating to woman.

• Mustard

  Believed to stimulate the sexual glands and increase desire. Prepare a tenderloin roast (filet mignon) for two with a mustard and peppercorn sauce.

• Nutmeg

  Nutmeg was highly prized by Chinese women as an aphrodisiac. In quantity nutmeg can produce a hallucinogenic effect. A light sprinkling of the spice in a warm pumpkin soup can help spice up your evening.

• Oysters

  Oysters were documented as a aphrodisiac food by the Romans in the second century A.D as mentioned in a satire by Juvenal. He described the wanton ways of women after ingesting wine and eating "giant oysters". An additional hypotheses is that the oyster resembles the "female" genitals. In reality oysters are a very nutritious and high in protein.

• Pine Nuts

  Zinc is a key mineral necessary to maintain male potency and pine nuts are rich in zinc. Pine nuts have been used to stimulate the libido as far back as Medieval times. Serve pine nut cookies with a dark espresso for a stimulating dessert.

• Pineapple

  Rich in vitamin C and and is used in the homeopathic treatment for impotence. Add a spear to a sweet Rum drink for a tasty prelude to an evening of passion.

• Raspberries and Strawberries

  Perfect foods for hand feeding your lover. "Both invite love and are described in erotic literature as fruit nipples" Both are high in vitamin C and make a sweet light dessert.

• Truffles

  The Greeks and the Romans considered the rare Truffle to be an aphrodisiac. The musky scent is said to stimulate and sensitize the skin to touch.

• Vanilla

  The scent and flavor of vanilla is believed to increase lust. According to the Australian Orchid Society, "Old Totonac lore has it that Xanat, the young daughter of the Mexican fertility goddess, loved a Totonac youth. Unable to marry him due to her divine nature, she transformed herself into a plant that would provide pleasure and happiness." Fill tall Champagne glasses to the rim and add a vanilla bean for a heady, bubbly treat.

• Wine

  A glass or two of wine can greatly enhance a romantic interlude. Wine relaxes and helps to stimulate our senses. Drinking wine can be an erotic experience. Let your eyes feast on the color of the liquid. Caress the glass, savor the taste on your lips. Do remember that excessive alcohol will make you too drowsy for the after-dinner romance. A moderate amount of wine has been said to "arouse" but much more than that amount with have the reverse affect. 
  
  

I have the meal.  It's simple and incorporates some items from this list.

Aniseed baked chicken with herb basmati rice and garlic with honey roasted string beans. Yumm yumm good!
Now all I need is the 'Valentine'...... No problem.

Use these foods with caution as certain items may make your partner taste bad for Oral sex. But if you want to do more than just traditional sex and the ingredients are a must for your recipe, make sure that you have oral sex shortly (within a few hours) after the meal.
Enjoy!

For more on these foods check out the link: Aphrodisiac Foods

Yummygirl '11

10 Steps to finding your Alter Sex Ego (AKA. A.S.E.)

I have an Alter Sex Ego. Her name is Tasha.  I think that every woman should have one and if she doesn't then it's time to get one.








What is an Alter Sex Ego (A.S.E)? (Pronounced Ace)
Don’t mix up 'Role Playing' with an Alter Sex Ego (ASE). 

• Your Alter Sex Ego allows you to be uninhibited. Your ASE does everything you desire to do sexually, in your subconscious, but are afraid to do in your conscious mind state. 
• Sexual Role Playing is a totally superficial sexual act.  It is tangible to a character, image or action (i.e. A Movie Star, Cat woman, Naughty Nurse, Damsel in Distress). Role playing doesn’t necessarily have your personality traits.  

Using your ASE helps to bring sexual acts to a higher level.  Your ASE also helps put a spark and can cause a fire in a rather boring (sexual) relationship. Your ASE makes this easy because she is an extension of who you really are; there's no faking You. Frequent use of your ASE will also help to increase your pleasure, creativity and sex drive.

If you have an ASE, that’s fabulous! Otherwise, below is a trick I used to reveal my ASE.  Give it a try and reveal yours.

10 Steps to finding your A.S.E (Alter Sex Ego)
(You will need a hand mirror)

1. Set the mood- Dim the lights. Play some soft sexy music. Use some aroma therapy. Pop a bottle of Moscato D' Asti or your favorite sexy drink etc. 
2. Get in the Mood-Pull out all the sexy ‘whatevers’ you have that gets you in the mood. Dance with yourself (that's right not BY yourself. There is a big difference). Making sexy movements of your body to music will get the blood, heart and sex drive going. 
3. Get Comfy- Find a comfy seat or get in a comfy position. Make sure to have your mirror with you. Make sure to hold it away from you so as NOT to see your reflection.
4. Breathe- Close your eyes and take long slow deep breaths. Focus on your breathing for a while to help clear you mind and think of nothing but how sexy you are to yourself and your man. (Continue with this type of breathing throughout the exercise.) 
5. Relax. 
6. Reminisce on the last phenomenal sex episode you had where you blew your partners mind (it doesn't have to be your current partner) and linger in that thought.
7. Think about teasing your current partner- Imagine what you would do to your current partner during foreplay to make his toes curl or cry from the sheer pleasure of you teasing and pleasing him. Think of how you would touch him with your mouth and hands.  Imagine him laying there, at your mercy afraid of how good the pleasure is.  Think of him as horny and helpless, waiting for your next sexual move on him. Think of him needing and wanting you.  Feel him begging, crying and whimpering helplessly but yearning for you sexually. 
8. Embrace your Horny-ness- These thoughts should have you feeling like the sexiest woman in his world right now.  Savor these thoughts and now imagine that he will react the same way, at your slightest touch, when you tease and please him later. (Make sure your eyes remain closed and you continue with the deep and slow breathing.)
9. Ask yourself, What would you do next to really ‘blow his mind’? Relish every detail. Calculate and delight in every touch. Get hot from how sexy you are and how good you know you will make him feel.  (Don’t be Shy. Nobody knows what you're doing but you, so don't hold back.) Now, at the very second just before you're about to make that 'move' and do that ‘special thing’ you imagined, that will make him go beyond crazy, 
10. Name Your A.S.E.- Slowly raising the mirror to your face and then open your eyes.  Look into the mirror at your reflection and say the very FIRST name that comes to you.  

That is the name of your ASE! Say hello to her and become acquainted. Summon her on the nights when you need that extra edge, which is almost every time for me. Matter of fact, since she is there, try her out on your man right now! 
Enjoy!








BTW,  I whip my ASE out only when I am going to give my man mind blowing head. I think my Ex misses Tasha more than he does me.


YummyGirl '10

Realtionships Can Be So Sexy

I can't help but to wonder how good the sex between these 'couples' are.   hmm....And how is it that I didn't know that Common and Serena are couple.