....At my birthday dinner with my girlfriends I learned something new about myself. I knew of my sexually tendencies but I never quite understood it or was able to clearly label it until after that birthday dinner.
A girlfriend of mine schooled a whole table of women, unbeknownst to her, about the different sexual personalities. I learned that everyone has a sexual personality that they must take on in order to have an orgasm. All the ladies at the table were focused on understanding this 'new' [to us] aspect of sex, that we have never really discussed, and how it relates to our sexual relationship with our partners.
I learned, that we all fall into one of these three categories:
Love Partner, [usually female] Requires an energetic, romantic and emotional connection with their sexual partner. Their emotional sexual intimacy is bond to their partner's intimate actions towards them during sex. There is a lot of eye contact, even during the orgasm, and hugging and kissing. The sexual connection is validated, for the Love Partner, with the warm caresses, wet lips and hot bodied-ness that comes from the sexual experience with their partner. This is what gets the Love Partner to Orgasm.
Sexual Trancer [usually male] Sexual trance involves an inward focus where each partner focuses on his/her own pleasure and sensations which creates a fulfilling sexual release. The Trancer is tuned out from their partner which is just a vessel to get the Trancer to climax. Therefore the orgasm basically can happen with any person (This is probably why men can so easily separate out sex as just 'sex'- hmm, go figure...)
Have you ever notices sometimes just before orgasm your partner, tunes out and you may feel like you were just a "body"? Hello! Your partner is a Sexual Trancer!
This made me think about that movie Waiting To Exhale with the Whitney Houston sex scene, lol. That's why Whitney was looking at her dude, thinking 'Wtf? Is that it?' Granted that scene may have been an extreme scenario but I hope you get the picture. Clearly the sex was not good from the ladies [a.k.a- Love Partner's] point of view.
Role Player or Fetishes [not dominated by any one sexual gender] Role playing involves acting out fantasies. Settings and props become important to set the scene. Many couples find this style most difficult. The role playing is usually most successful between two adults. Maturity is required to act out different roles in sex successfully. And immaturity/inexperience may cause a partner to close down and not fully engage in the role which ultimately ruins the fantasy and the Orgasm. [A.K.A. If you're not an experienced adult, you are not ready for this one!]
I became intrigued and wanting to understand more about these personalities after this discussion over dinner. So I did a little research for my self and it ALL started to make sense! I have now recently categorized my sexual partners. And when people ask me sexual questions, realizing these sexual categories/personalities, I can give more enlightening answers and suggestions.
Through my research I learned that with these three types of sexual personalities there can be disconnects between partners that will ruin the sexual relationship. Problems can occur when having sex with someone who has a different sexual personality than your own. And sex, though exciting at first, with your personality mate, will become predictable after a time. This is NOT necessarily a bad thing since no one sexual category is better than the other.
Ultimately, what we need to recognize is that to be a good lover and to have a good and exciting sex life or sexual relationship with your partner, a good lover must know how to 'play' with all 3 sexual personalities but ultimately climaxing in the comfort zone of their sexual personality. [Even Trancers can connect with their partner given/giving the right guidance.]
Knowing how to play within all three categories makes sex excitingly different every time! Mature adults are best at recognizing and playing in these categories (you won't get great sex from a young thing. Maybe some good stamina but that's it!-lol). Mature sexual adults respect, appreciates and are open to all three categories. This results in an exciting and joyful sex life.
I have identified myself as a sexual trancer and with my current partner, I now understand more what works for us and what we need to do to help make the (s)experience more enjoyable together.
Hopefully identifying your sexual personality and that of your sexual partners will make for more enlightening sex for you both.
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TheYummyGirl '11
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