Dominion in NYC hosted the album listening party for Ms Jill Scott's new album entitled "Light of the Son". She sounded flawless and blessed us with singing about 8 songs off of the new album.
The upcoming album is H-O-T!
And I had a blast that night- (If I told you the story of how that night came to be, you wouldn't believe me. So, all I will say is, thanks to Nhjelah and "Lance" Ms Jill Scott's Road Manager for making it happen) *BIG Smile* Only in NYC!
-Anyway, I just saw this video and I am way excited that the album is gonna drop one week earlier than first thought. The album now hits stores June 21, 2011. Make sure you support true artistry!
"So in LOVE with you!" is a feel good song and I can't help but to groove when I hear it.
Check out the new video.
Now-just imagine, you and your lover having a moment together dancing to this song, at home, when no one is watching. Makes you feel good and wanna smile-don't it?
Find things like spontaneously dancing with your lover or doing other things that make you feel good together. It will strengthen the relationship and guarantee you a wonderful and intimate time together.
Better yet- dance together tonight, just because, and watch what happens. *wink-wink*
-YummyGirl '11
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Friday, May 27, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Sooo we're dating?
Knowing the status of your relationship will make your sexperience with that person more enjoyable. Everyone has limitations to what they will do sexually depending on their moral character as it pertains to the status of their sexual relationship.
If there is ambiguity in the purpose of the sexual relationship it may lead to tension. The biggest sexual stimulator is ones mind and in order to have a wonderful sex life you need to relieve/remove this mental tension/stress to make way for great sex. One way to do this is to know where one "stands" in the relationship, or the purpose of the sexual relationship. Once you know this it makes it easier to establish what one will or will not do with their sexual partner(s).
I have found that the most confusing relationship label, to know where one "stands", is Dating. "Dating" seems to have so many layers, and rules and stipulations that it can become very frustrating mentally and emotionally and it can be destabilizing for some, especially those who don't quite know the definitions and rules. So in an attempt to help you free your mind and become more uninhibited in you sexlife, I am going to try to clarify this relationship label.
First, one must understand, what is a 'DATE'?
Well in general a "DATE" is any outing or scheduled time to spend and share, typically between two people. And, for the purposes of this blog, a DATE occurs between two people who are interested or sexually attracted to each other. People who are attracted to each other typically go on a DATE to see if the respective person is worth pursuing for a more engaging and sexual relationship. But, Going on a DATE or a couple of dates with each other does not necessarily mean that these two people are "DATING".
And "DATING" in it's most basic form is two people that are mutually attracted to each other, who repeatedly schedule time to spend and share exclusively with each other. For DATING purposes, time spent together is done in order to get to know each other more personally. The intent of getting to know each other more personally is to determine whether a more serious or committed relationship involving monogamous sex, would be the best and next logical step between the two.
Time spent (spending quality time) together is a balanced combination of conversations face to face and on the phone, going out in public, having sex (where appropriate) and spending time together alone.
Quality time (for the purposes of this blog) is time spent with a purpose where, the purpose is getting to know one another on a emotional, spiritual and sexual level in order to determine the next logical step of the relationship.
Be aware that there is no emotional commitment or obligation required when DATING and the person with the least emotional commitment usually rules the relationship.
Though sex being included in a dating relationship is the norm for the 21st century, it is not a requirement. A couple can be labeled as DATING once they have been on repeated and routine dates with each other within a timely manor. (I'd say weekly dates frequent verbal communication and sex for a minimum of 4-6 weeks would be considered DATING if nothing is discussed, it may be earlier if there is a discussion to establish that the two are indeed "DATING")
Now that you know what "DATING" means, make sure you play your position when dating so that you don't look crazy. And adhering to the following dating rules, will ensure ones sanity.
When "DATING":
1.There should be no expectation of routine time spent (routine meaning multiple times weekly or where you feel comfortable enough not to notice if there is a lack of togetherness). If there is considerable time spent naturally, then wonderful, but that is not required and if you expect it, keep it to yourself. You cannot get mad if the time spent with you becomes less frequent after a time.
2.When you are dating it is OK to date other people, if you choose not to date other people, then that is on you. But you CANNOT get mad if the person you are dating is dating other people. That should only be a concern to you if you are looking to move into a more committed or serious relationship. Or to "EXCLUSIVELY DATE" the person.
Now you can, however, be "exclusively dating" someone. This means that when you feel to spend quality time which will include having sex in this situation, it will be with the person they are "exclusively" dating. However in order to stay sane in this situation, I would recommend that the "exclusively dating" is mutual. Then and only then can you ignore rule #2 above. Still when you are "exclusively dating" there is no required emotional commitment or obligation between the two.
I have found that the most confusing relationship label, to know where one "stands", is Dating. "Dating" seems to have so many layers, and rules and stipulations that it can become very frustrating mentally and emotionally and it can be destabilizing for some, especially those who don't quite know the definitions and rules. So in an attempt to help you free your mind and become more uninhibited in you sexlife, I am going to try to clarify this relationship label.
First, one must understand, what is a 'DATE'?
Well in general a "DATE" is any outing or scheduled time to spend and share, typically between two people. And, for the purposes of this blog, a DATE occurs between two people who are interested or sexually attracted to each other. People who are attracted to each other typically go on a DATE to see if the respective person is worth pursuing for a more engaging and sexual relationship. But, Going on a DATE or a couple of dates with each other does not necessarily mean that these two people are "DATING".
Time spent (spending quality time) together is a balanced combination of conversations face to face and on the phone, going out in public, having sex (where appropriate) and spending time together alone.
Quality time (for the purposes of this blog) is time spent with a purpose where, the purpose is getting to know one another on a emotional, spiritual and sexual level in order to determine the next logical step of the relationship.
Be aware that there is no emotional commitment or obligation required when DATING and the person with the least emotional commitment usually rules the relationship.
Though sex being included in a dating relationship is the norm for the 21st century, it is not a requirement. A couple can be labeled as DATING once they have been on repeated and routine dates with each other within a timely manor. (I'd say weekly dates frequent verbal communication and sex for a minimum of 4-6 weeks would be considered DATING if nothing is discussed, it may be earlier if there is a discussion to establish that the two are indeed "DATING")
Now that you know what "DATING" means, make sure you play your position when dating so that you don't look crazy. And adhering to the following dating rules, will ensure ones sanity.
When "DATING":
1.There should be no expectation of routine time spent (routine meaning multiple times weekly or where you feel comfortable enough not to notice if there is a lack of togetherness). If there is considerable time spent naturally, then wonderful, but that is not required and if you expect it, keep it to yourself. You cannot get mad if the time spent with you becomes less frequent after a time.
2.When you are dating it is OK to date other people, if you choose not to date other people, then that is on you. But you CANNOT get mad if the person you are dating is dating other people. That should only be a concern to you if you are looking to move into a more committed or serious relationship. Or to "EXCLUSIVELY DATE" the person.
If the information I have provided here does not help and ease your mind, then you need to gain clarification from the person that you are dating. The best way to go about this is to pose the question:
"Where is this relationship going?"
This is an open ended question which allows for discussion on the progress, intent and potentially new focus of the present relationship. You can, then pose follow up questions, depending on the direction of the conversation like, "Are we dating?" and "What does that mean?". Asking the first question FIRST is better than a direct yes/no question which in most cases can make the person being asked the question uncomfortable and defensive because they feel like they are being "put on the spot".
Once you understand the relationship you are in, then you know what you should do next for your mental and emotional clarity. And if after a time your feelings start to grow and you feel that you want the relationship to eventually progress to a more committed and "exclusive" level, then another conversation needs to be initiated that will discuss the possibility of a stronger, more committed relationship. Simply ask the FIRST question again. This will help you know where you stand and know what your next step should be. It is fool proof at any level of your relationship.
Understand these definitions and rules and you should be in a great position to enjoy your sexual life. And again, if there is any confusion on the intent of the relationship please make sure to ask the person you're dating. This information is just a guide to keep you in perspective so that you can focus on good sexual health.
Enjoy!
YummyGirl '11
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