So in LOVE with you!- Ms Jill Scott ft. Anthony Hamilton-official video!

Dominion in NYC hosted the album listening party for Ms Jill Scott's new album entitled "Light of the Son".  She sounded flawless and blessed us with singing about 8 songs off of the new album.

The upcoming album is H-O-T!
And I had a blast that night- (If I told you the story of how that night came to be, you wouldn't believe me. So, all I will say is, thanks to Nhjelah and "Lance" Ms Jill Scott's Road Manager for making it happen) *BIG Smile* Only in NYC!

-Anyway,  I just saw this video and I am way excited that the album is gonna drop one week earlier than first thought.  The album now hits stores  June 21, 2011.  Make sure you support true artistry!

"So in LOVE with you!" is a feel good song and I can't help but to groove when I hear it.
Check out the new video.



Now-just imagine, you and your lover having a moment together dancing to this song, at home, when no one is watching.  Makes you feel good and wanna smile-don't it?

Find things like spontaneously dancing with your lover or doing other things that make you feel good together. It will strengthen the relationship and guarantee you a wonderful and intimate time together.

Better yet- dance together tonight, just because, and watch what happens. *wink-wink*

-YummyGirl '11

Sooo we're dating?

Knowing the status of your relationship will make your sexperience with that person more enjoyable. Everyone has limitations to what they will do sexually depending on their moral character as it pertains to the status of their sexual relationship.

If there is ambiguity in the purpose of the sexual relationship it may lead to tension.  The  biggest sexual stimulator is ones mind and in order to have a wonderful sex life you need to relieve/remove this mental tension/stress to make way for great sex.  One way to do this is to know where one "stands" in the relationship, or the purpose of the sexual relationship. Once you know this it makes it easier to establish what one will or will not do with their sexual partner(s).



I have found that the most confusing relationship label, to know where one "stands", is Dating.  "Dating" seems to have so many layers, and rules and stipulations that it can become very frustrating mentally and emotionally and it can be destabilizing for some, especially those who don't quite know the definitions and rules.  So in an attempt to help you free your mind and become more uninhibited in you sexlife, I am going to try to clarify this relationship label.

First, one must understand, what is a 'DATE'?

Well  in  general a "DATE" is any outing or scheduled time to spend and share, typically between two people. And, for the purposes of this blog, a DATE occurs between two people who are interested or sexually attracted to each other.  People who are attracted to each other typically go on a DATE to see if the respective person is worth pursuing for a more engaging and sexual relationship. But, Going on a DATE or a couple of dates with each other does not necessarily mean that these two people are "DATING".

And "DATING" in it's most basic form is two people that are mutually attracted to each other, who repeatedly schedule time to spend and share exclusively with each other.  For DATING purposes, time spent together is done in order to get to know each other more personally. The intent of getting to know each other more personally is to determine whether a more serious or committed relationship involving monogamous sex, would be the best and next logical step between the two.
   
Time spent (spending quality time) together is a balanced combination of conversations face to face and on the phone, going out in public, having sex (where appropriate) and spending time together alone.

Quality time (for the purposes of this blog) is time spent with a purpose where, the purpose is getting to know one another on a emotional, spiritual and sexual level in order to determine the next logical step of the relationship.


Be aware that there is no emotional commitment or obligation required when DATING and the person with the least emotional commitment usually rules the relationship.

Though sex being included in a dating relationship is the norm for the 21st century, it is not a requirement.  A couple can be labeled as DATING once they have been on repeated and routine dates with each other within a timely manor. (I'd say weekly dates frequent verbal communication and sex for a minimum of 4-6 weeks would be considered DATING if nothing is discussed, it may be earlier if there is a discussion to establish that the two are indeed "DATING")

Now that you know what "DATING" means, make sure you play your position when dating so that you don't look crazy.  And adhering to the following dating rules, will ensure ones sanity.



When "DATING":
1.There should be no expectation of routine time spent (routine meaning multiple times weekly or where you feel comfortable enough not to notice if there is a lack of togetherness). If there is considerable time spent naturally, then wonderful, but that is not required and if you expect it, keep it to yourself.  You cannot get mad if the time spent with you becomes less frequent after a time.
2.When you are dating it is OK to date other people, if you choose not to date other people, then that is on you. But you CANNOT get mad if the person you are dating is dating other people.  That should only be a concern to you if you are looking to move into a more committed or serious relationship. Or to "EXCLUSIVELY DATE" the person.

Now you can, however, be "exclusively dating" someone.  This means that when you feel to spend quality time which will include having sex in this situation, it will be with the person they are "exclusively" dating.  However in order to stay sane in this situation, I would recommend that the "exclusively dating" is mutual.  Then and only then can you ignore rule #2 above.  Still when you are "exclusively dating" there is no required emotional commitment or obligation between the two.

If the information I have provided here does not help and ease your mind, then you need to gain clarification from the person that you are dating.  The best way to go about this is to pose the question:

"Where is this relationship going?" 

This is an open ended question which allows for discussion on the progress, intent and potentially new focus of the present relationship. You can, then pose follow up questions, depending on the direction of the conversation like, "Are we dating?" and "What does that mean?".  Asking the first question FIRST is better than a direct yes/no question which in most cases can make the person being asked the question uncomfortable and defensive because they feel like they are being "put on the spot". 

Once you understand the relationship you are in, then you know what you should do next for your mental and emotional clarity. And if after a time your feelings start to grow and you feel that you want the relationship to eventually progress to a more committed and "exclusive" level, then another conversation needs to be initiated that will discuss the possibility of a stronger, more committed relationship.  Simply ask the FIRST question again.  This will help you know where you stand and know what your next step should be. It is fool proof at any level of your relationship.

Understand these definitions and rules and you should be in a great position to enjoy your sexual life. And again, if there is any confusion on the intent of the relationship please make sure to ask the person you're dating. This information is just a guide to keep you in perspective so that you can focus on good sexual health.

Enjoy!

YummyGirl '11 

Milk+ Honey Staring Idris Elba and Debbie Allen

How sexy does this sound Milk + Honey.  Now imagine it as a series on TV. And to top it off it's got some sexy people in there too!  Spread the word.  We need some more series like this on television.  To get them picked up by a TV network they need about 1 million hits/views of this trailer.


Milk+Honey is produced by Idris Elba and others and produced and starring Ms Debbie Allen (She's back baby)! It also stars Lance Gross (Our Family Wedding, "House of Payne"), Faune Chambers (Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Bryce Wilson (Beauty Shop), and newbies Asha Kamali, Yaani King, Shauntay Hinton, Charles Divins, and Rob Smith.

The series is about Nia, an aspiring actress trying climb the Hollywood 'social ladder' while trying to keep her morals. Harper is a spoiled rich girl on the rise in the agency world. Samirah is an intelligent free spirit and DJ who hates the 'hollywood' life. And there is also unhappy Farrah, a pregnant socialite looking for love in all the wrong places. There lives intertwine in the land that is Hollywood.  See how it unfolds.

View the trailer, pass it on and support black actors!

milk + honey series trailer from brown paper dolls on Vimeo.


The YummyGirl 2011
YummyMan on sale now get you coppy today

Becoming one with my sexual personality

....At my birthday dinner with my girlfriends I learned something new about myself.  I knew of my sexually tendencies but I never quite understood it or was able to clearly label it until after that birthday dinner.  


A girlfriend of mine schooled a whole table of women, unbeknownst to her, about the different sexual personalities.  I learned that everyone has a sexual personality that they must take on in order to have an orgasm.  All the ladies at the table were focused on understanding this 'new' [to us] aspect of sex, that we have never really discussed, and how it relates to our sexual relationship with our partners.

I learned, that we all fall into one of these three categories:

• Love Partner, [usually female] Requires an energetic, romantic and emotional connection with their sexual partner. Their emotional sexual intimacy is bond to their partner's intimate actions towards them during sex. There is a lot of eye contact, even during the orgasm, and hugging and kissing.  The sexual connection is validated, for the Love Partner, with the warm caresses, wet lips and hot bodied-ness that comes from the sexual experience with their partner.  This is what gets the Love Partner to Orgasm.

   

• Sexual Trancer [usually male] Sexual trance involves an inward focus where each partner focuses on his/her own pleasure and sensations which creates a fulfilling sexual release. The Trancer is tuned out from their partner which is just a vessel to get the Trancer to climax.  Therefore the orgasm basically can happen with any person (This is probably why men can so easily separate out sex as just 'sex'- hmm, go figure...)
  
  
  

  Have you ever notices sometimes just before orgasm your partner, tunes out and you may feel like you were just a "body"?  Hello! Your partner is a Sexual Trancer!

  This made me think about that movie Waiting To Exhale with the Whitney Houston sex scene, lol.  That's why Whitney was looking at her dude, thinking 'Wtf? Is that it?' Granted that scene may have been an extreme scenario but I hope you get the picture. Clearly the sex was not good from the ladies [a.k.a- Love Partner's] point of view.

  
  
  
  
• Role Player or Fetishes [not dominated by any one sexual gender] Role playing involves acting out fantasies. Settings and props become important to set the scene. Many couples find this style most difficult. The role playing is usually most successful between two adults.  Maturity is required to act out different roles in sex successfully. And immaturity/inexperience may cause a partner to close down and not fully engage in the role which ultimately ruins the fantasy and the Orgasm. [A.K.A. If you're not an experienced adult, you are not ready for this one!]
  
  
  

  

  
  

I became intrigued and wanting to understand more about these personalities after this discussion over dinner.  So I did a little research for my self and it ALL started to make sense! I have now recently categorized my sexual partners.  And when people ask me sexual questions, realizing these sexual categories/personalities,  I can give more enlightening answers and suggestions. 


Through my research I learned that with these three types of sexual personalities there can be disconnects between partners that will ruin the sexual relationship.  Problems can occur when having sex with someone who has a different sexual personality than your own.  And sex, though exciting at first, with your personality mate, will become predictable after a time.  This is NOT necessarily a bad thing since no one sexual category is better than the other. 


Ultimately, what we need to recognize is that to be a good lover and to have a good and exciting sex life or sexual relationship with your partner, a good lover must know how to 'play' with all 3 sexual personalities but ultimately climaxing in the comfort zone of their sexual personality. [Even Trancers can connect with their partner given/giving the right guidance.] 


Knowing how to play within all three categories makes sex excitingly different every time!   Mature adults are best at recognizing and playing in these categories (you won't get great sex from a young thing.  Maybe some good stamina but that's it!-lol). Mature sexual adults respect, appreciates and are open to all three categories. This results in an exciting and joyful sex life. 

I have identified myself as a sexual trancer and with my current partner, I now understand more what works for us and what we need to do to help make the (s)experience more enjoyable together.


Hopefully identifying your sexual personality and that of your sexual partners will make for more enlightening sex for you both.


Find out your sexual personality score.
Take this quick quiz


TheYummyGirl '11